*sometime after school ends for the day*

[windup_boytoy]

*a certain replica was on his way to see Namine as he usually does, but has gotten distracted by the two furry fuzzballs curiously investigating his uniform*

Ahahahaha... no, Kegan! Not my shoelaces again!

Comments

[boomboomfire.livejournal.com]

*smiles at them and picks Kegan up and snuggles him before he squirms away to start a fight with his brother*

Just wanna stop being....devoted?

[windup-boytoy.livejournal.com]

*is able to answer that easily, because there's only one answer for him, but he wonders why you're asking*

No. Never. *smiles* Namine... she's everything to me. She made me and I never want to lose her again. It was... painful... to be a failure, to not be able to protect her. But the happiest moment in my life so far was the day I saw her again. And someday, I'll be able to tell her I 'love' her, and it will be right.

*nods* You're lucky. You have that 'love' already. It's painful, but it's also the best thing in the world. I'd suffer through anything, because of what I feel for Namine, and I know it's better than not having her at all.

[boomboomfire.livejournal.com]

*sighs* You're right. *picks at his pants leg*

*whisper* I want to be selfish, to worry about myself only for once, instead of everyone else

[windup-boytoy.livejournal.com]

*wasn't quite sure what to make of your little 'confession' since he's not really used to you being this vulnerable around him, but it sounds very familiar and similar to what he's been thinking of*

... but aren't you worrying about yourself? I mean, if you think of Roxas and Demyx all the time, and they both make you happy, then ultimately, their happiness will help you be happy, right? It just takes longer to get there.

I... want to be selfish, too, alot of the time. But I know it would make everyone sad.

[boomboomfire.livejournal.com]

*mutters* Didn't work, did it? Demyx is with Xigbar on the weekends, and Roxas left. So much for me making them happy.

*bitter* Even if I'm selfish, it wouldn't matter. It would hurt them, yeah, but...in the long run, I'd be calmer. I'd be able to stop feeling like I'm just...flailing for answers and trying so hard for what seems like nothing.

*grabs kegan as he tries to bite arden's tail and rubs his tummy and plays with him absently*

[windup-boytoy.livejournal.com]

*kinda makes an 'ew' face* Demyx and... Xigbar? When the hell did this happen? Ew. Yuck. Who'd want to be with Xigbar?

And... uhmmm... *trying to be positive is kinda hard but he's trying!* Well, Roxas is coming back. He will. I know it. And you have Demyx five days out of seven, so that's a majority, right? Roxas is like Sora... once he 'loves' he 'loves' permanently. He won't let you go. Or Demyx either.

*grabs up Arden and starts ruffling his fur*

... it sounds like you're trying to figure out things like I am. Sora's gone, too, you know. And Riku's such a wreck. It's my fault things got that way.

[boomboomfire.livejournal.com]

heh...yeah. Dem's all kinda of affectionate, and he liked Xigbar before, and things just...kinda fell where they did.

*is showing how well he can ignore things he doesnt want to see*

[windup-boytoy.livejournal.com]

... but he's still with you, isn't he? Isn't that what's important? Unless you only want him to be with you and Roxas and no one else.